Nerds Hate Posers

Um, I have nothing to do with this post Ted?!?!

Every so often everyone gets out of balance. My equilibrium was absent for a long time with nary a clue how to properly reset the weights on both sides of the fulcrum. I worked at it, thought about it and made some very large life changes. Nothing seemed to reset my life to its former counterpoised state. Unfortunately changing the equation is seldom the answer. The cogent course is to find the variables within the equation that have changed without your knowledge and then reset them to their proper values. If a person can do that then they can enjoy a healthy vestibular system and a life free from stumbling about with a feeling like you will expel your lunch at any moment.

As an aside the top paragraph is a "geek model" test. With so many models flashing their nerd card these days to endear themselves to the very large fan-base of male nerds out there I finding a subtle satisfaction in writing things in the above way. Suffice to say that there is no issue with not understanding some or all the above. However if you found yourself scratching your head and trying to remember the URL for Wikipedia (it is www.wikipedia.com by the way) then you have failed. You are not a nerd. Stick to waving your tits around and stop trying to pretend you were on the chess team. I should say I do not consider models as "tit wavers." In high school the nerds referred to the popular crowd as tit wavers and dick swaggers. Look at me, people like me because damn if I am not pretty! Getting picked on because you had to sit to the right of the homecoming queen on the float does not allow you disparaged youth status. You have been found out!

Although I do digress I will illustrate several more identifiers to the folly that is geek posing. See that thing on the chess board that looks like a horse's head? It is a knight, not a horsey. Horsey's are for the sauce on Arby's sandwiches. If your favorite Wonder Woman is Diana Carter and you are not a man in your 40s give it up unless you can explain how the moderate S&M elements used in the series and Princess Diana's self-subjugation to her male co-star pay homage to the memes of the original Golden Age comic. If you spell Golden Age with lower case instead of caps even though it is grammatically correct take off you fake glasses and put your colored contract lenses back in. Do you own a comic book t-shirt sold before the first Hot Topic opened? Yeah, comics existed before Hot Topic. Yeah, comic books existed before 1940. Check into it.

Yes I am having a bit of fun. However if you have not been thrown in a lake by the football team, stuffed in a locker, had more pairs of underwear than you can count torn from a wedgie or the dreaded Melvin, been the monkey in the middle as your glasses were tossed about during a game of monkey in the middle, reprogrammed the character set on a TRS-80 to allow simple graphics or had a sibling tell people you were adopted because you collected comic books give it up. You are not a nerd ... you are a poser. Oddly nerds now look down upon posers. How the world has changed!

As for balance I finally found my version of it again. It turns out that I need to be just pissed off about things to write a blog like this without being angry, breaking things, swearing or calling people out by name. I can be erudite without being rude. I can turn a phrase without turning people into enemies. And if I do who cares. I do not need stupid friends or to be friends with easily offended posers. My life has always worked best when I am Bill Bixby just before my feet get big enough to shred my shoes. That is another nerd poser test by the way. Think about it a bit and get back to me.

If this keeps up it is going to be a fun year!

Image Ravished Redhead Roped and Ready with Ludella Hahn. It has nothing to do with anything above. That is a luxury of writing your own blog. You can do what you want.