How To Avoid Being An Asshole! A Primer for Bondage Photographers.

This Little Piggy Went Nowhere!

Welcome to the third day of my, "Three Day Blog Update Extravaganza!" I can count on one hand the times I have updated three days in a row, and I used that hand to high-five a running lawn mower. I would recommend against that by the way. I do not care how great your lawn looks after being cut. The mower will get by on a thank you alone, and your next mow looks great as well if you have enough fingers to hold the handle.

I try to keep things light, but a topic has nagged me for a couple of weeks. I have this uncanny ability to make models feel comfortable. I also have a very loving wife who will let me shoot almost anything. I cannot help but think trust and professionalism are major factors. When another person trusts and you treat them professionally they will generally be more flexible with a variety of things including content. This trust comes through a number of factors as does professionalism. Doing something without professionalism or something that violates trust makes you an asshole. Everyone is an asshole from time to time. It is not the end of the world. With fetish material however I believe it is responsible to actively work on not being an asshole.

As such I have come up with a test to decide if you are an asshole and have some helpful rules of thumb to avoid a future existence of being perceived as someone who lives in a humid valley between two butt cheeks. Ted, how can I tell if I am an asshole? Luckily with bondage photography there are questions that can point out you are an asshole. Ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly:

1. Has a model said during a shoot, "you never mentioned this in your emails." If you answer yes congratulations, you are an asshole.
2. Has a model ever stopped you during a shoot and said, "we never agreed to this." If you answer yes congratulations, you are an asshole.
3. Has a model ever said to you during a shoot, "I specifically said NOT to do that." If you answer yes congratulations, you are an asshole.
4. Have you ever said you had a "cool" or "edgy" idea you would like to try that translated to fingering a vagina, getting to second base or otherwise potentially getting arrested? If you answer yes congratulations, you are an asshole.
5. Have you ever said, "I am sorry, I thought you were playing the damsel. I did not know you wanted me to stop."?  If you answer yes congratulations, you are an asshole.
6. Has anyone thanked you for being professional? If the answer is no, you are an asshole.
7. Do you receive consistent emails from new models saying models that you work with give you great references and say you are highly trustworthy? If the answer is no, you are an asshole.
8. Do you have a mental list of at least 20 ways the shit can hit the fan and how to react when tying someone up and gagging them? If not congratulations, you are an asshole.
9. Do you wear shorts or sweatpants that make your erections very obvious during a shoot, especially when you rub them up against a model? If you answer yes, congratulations you are an asshole.
10. Have you ever used the excuse, "But you shot this content with Ted, so I thought it was okay" even though you never asked the model if it was okay for YOU to shoot it with her? If you answer yes, congratulations you are an asshole.
11. Do most of your camera angles while you grope a model last over 45 seconds? If you answer yes, congratulations you are an asshole.
12. Do you touch a model when it is not necessary (such as when the camera is not rolling or while you tell them a story about your Thunder Cats collection)? If you answer yes, congratulations you are an asshole.
13. Has a model ever told you they retired, are no longer shooting, are no longer coming to your area or cancelled on you five times when you know they still shoot bondage and travel? If you answer yes congratulations, you are an asshole.
14. If you look at any of the questions in this list and laugh or think to you self, "He is full of it" congratulations, you are a mega-asshole. Scientists at one time thought the mega-asshole was extinct. Although like the asshole in appearance, the mega-asshole is a much bigger asshole capable of pissing a model off much quicker and to a level that is almost unimaginable.

These are only some of the ways you may make yourself an asshole. I would recommend avoiding them as they lead not only to people thinking you stink but also models not working with you, other producers speaking ill of you behind your back and husbands, boyfriends and fiancées signing up for FetishCon to make the outside of your face touch the back of your head. Great news though, all of this is avoidable! How Ted, how can I not be an asshole? It is easy:

1. Always be professional.
2. Always be trustworthy.
3. Always be safe.
4. Always respect the model's limits.
5. Look up always in the dictionary and understand it means every time.
6. No surprises, communicate everything you want to shoot to the model.
7. Stay on time. Poor planning on your part is not the model's responsibility.
8. Have a shoot content list, show it to models for approval and do not deviate from it.
9. Do not play dumb. If you know not to do something, DO NOT do it.
10. Do not be cheap. You get to tie up girls for a living and you want to low-ball them on compensation? Offer them snacks, lunch or dinner. Open up your wallet and thank whatever god you believe in for the opportunity to shoot bondage instead of buying it like all of your fans. I know times are tough. When I am cash poor I do not shoot. See, if you cannot afford something you cannot have it. Keep your sob stories to yourself and do not waste people's time.
11. Understand that models will shoot content with other people they will not shoot with you. They are not whores. Your money does not buy whatever you want. It secures content that the model is comfortable shooting WITH YOU that has been clearly communicated before the shoot.
12. Shoots are not play sessions. I know some models are fine with that. Many are not. Respect the difference. Just because my ex-girlfriend swallowed does not mean it is okay for me to blow a load on your Mother's face. Get the point?
13. Move the damn camera around. It is about creating content, not your boner.
14. Models are nice to you because it is good business. They do not necessarily like you, want to hang around with you, wish to date you or endeavor to see the tiny dick you are insecure about and drove you to playing photographer to get your jollies.
15. Never, ever use, "Ted did this with you" as an excuse. Some models let me do things with them that they do not want to do with you. Some models are not comfortable shooting things with me that they shoot with someone else. It is what it is. Tough titties.

Okay, so I had a little fun with that. I mean no disrespect to anyone, but I do hope everyone learns a little about respect from the above. Everyone wants to be respected as part of good business, and the above gives a little insight on how to add more respect to a shoot. If you continue to be an asshole at least I tried!

Image courtesy of Panty Face Chicken Wing Hogtie with Tara Tied.

Sometimes losing a bet is a win

I shot again with Kerri Taylor recently and have to say again that I'm amazed at the material I get out of her. We were chatting about some crazy stuff people had tried to get her to do, and I quipped that I'd better cross that off the list for today. She responded with I can try what I want because she knows I'll get her out fast if she needs relief.

In the middle of shooting I was explaining a position, and she started teasing me about it. Granted it was a chicken wing hogtie and frogtie, but she really thought it sounded silly. I told her that it's a no-joke position, the kind that is agony from the start and hell near the finish. She told me that she could take anything, so we made a little bet. If she could hold out for 6 minutes from the time I finished tying, I'd make the last set an easier one. If she had to bail, she owed me one more short set at the end of the day.

The banter was playful until we got to the chicken wing. Her elbows were already smashed together and when those wrists went up to her shoulders she knew it was going to be a challenge. By the time I did that extra pull on the hogtied to get things tight she was already making noises of strain. We got the gag on and away we went. My job was to move the camera around her and get the right panning. She really couldn't do much. The position basically made her furniture. She wiggled her fingers and a foot, but she mostly made pained grunts.

Her face showed the strain and as minutes ticked by she was really gutting things out. I gave her the option to bail multiple times, but she wouldn't let me. After 6 minutes I lifted her head up and told her to say, "I win, you suck!" She didn't sound happy. I ungagged her and she begged me to be quick. I could hear in her voice she was just about to lose it, so I cut her elbows. I filmed the complete untying so people would know just how hard models have to work for these positions. She could have tapped out at any time and basically put herself through hell to one-up me. And she did. She won! Of course, I won too because the video made a killer clip of what happens when a rigger and a model decide to go toe-to-toe.

Check out Kerri Taylor in Tied to the Point of Tears if you want to see a great position, some real agony and how far Ms. Taylor will push herself to make me lose!